Social Norms

This is the map of the Tokyo subway system (Metro) that I carry everywhere. (I also have it on my iPhone but paper does not rely upon a charged battery.)  Our closest station is indicated by the pen.   The politeness and conformity of the passengers is astonishing. They do not yack on cell phones or tussle for seats.  They wait their turns standing to the sides of the sliding doors, allowing passengers to exit before they enter.  Last evening around 10:30 the cars were packed.  For the first time I witnessed behavior that, as a high school teacher, concerned me.  In the U.S. such behavior might easily escalate into fisticuffs.  A young man with greased, slicked-back hair ran for the departing train.  There was no room left inside the car so he turned his back to the door, curled his fingers above the door's inside top frame, and used his back side to ram the passengers already standing in tight-packed formation.  The fellow who received the greatest force, gave a shove back in an attempt to throw the greasy-haired chap off the car.  So the tussle went while the closing-door-bells chimed. Fearing an escalation-- and needing to make more room on the train-- I held my breath and watched.  The aggressor won and the loser quietly bowed his head. 

In the U.S. we teach our children to shake hands (shake-shake) and look their elders in the eye as a sign of respect when first meeting them.  Here in Japan, children are taught to lower their eyes as a sign of deference.  I enjoy watching parents interacting with their young children, youngsters walking home from school, and kids playing games like tag.  But the children will not make eye contact.  Many will not even venture a sideways glance.  Children in America are taught not to give eye contact to strangers because they might be dangerous, but in Japan children do not make eye contact because it is a proper sign of respect.   I feel a strong desire to get to know Japanese children and am eager to interact with them.  With joy I received a message from a principal of a school near our apartment inviting me to tour his school, meet the faculty and get involved in the community.  It is currently the end of their school term so I will jump in at the beginning of February.  I cannot wait!!